Seems like we’re different.

I guess I’m REALLY disappointed in her. She doesn’t even seem like a Christian to me anymore. I don’t think they are together with me in faith. Which is really sad because she’s definately not the person I used to know. I just feel with a couple of my friends that we can’t grow in faith together. This sounds really odd but I really want to. And right now I guess I just need to calm down. I also don’t like the excuses she gives to back away from Christian things. This is definately not good. I’m finding that people around me aren’t what I used to think they were and I’m just really hating it.

Oh, I want to go to Israel. Anyone else?

I think I’m a Control Freak.

Yes, I’m pretty sure I am a control freak. 1) When I can’t handle things I get annoyed. 2) I hate not having things in my palm. 3) If I can’t control it then screw it. Yeah… So I really hate it when things don’t end up the way I want to. HATE IT. God, what should I do with my life? I feel like I want to go to a Christian University but it’s kind of far away and I’ll have to live in dorms not mentioning the costs. And UBC just seems like a better choice because it’s the top 100 universities in the world. I’m just really bothered by all this. I mean like if I go to a good university, a good major, and a good job my parents will definately be pleased. But if I do what I think is serving God and although they are Christians I definately don’t think they’ll agree. It’s so stupid.

There’s a trip to Israel I want to go to next year. I’m thinking it’ll really help my faith and really tell me what I actually need to do to serve my God. This is all so queer. I haven’t felt like this since I was in grade 7 or so… I don’t know. I just hope things work out the way you want them to God.

It’s not getting better.

I’m getting sicker. Coughing more and much more flem in my throat which is gross, I know. Hopefully, I’ll get better. And we got report cards today. No, I wasn’t frustrated or upset I guess I kind of want to focus more on my spiritual life…which is difficult.