I guess I’m REALLY disappointed in her. She doesn’t even seem like a Christian to me anymore. I don’t think they are together with me in faith. Which is really sad because she’s definately not the person I used to know. I just feel with a couple of my friends that we can’t grow in faith together. This sounds really odd but I really want to. And right now I guess I just need to calm down. I also don’t like the excuses she gives to back away from Christian things. This is definately not good. I’m finding that people around me aren’t what I used to think they were and I’m just really hating it.
Oh, I want to go to Israel. Anyone else?
Yes, I’m pretty sure I am a control freak. 1) When I can’t handle things I get annoyed. 2) I hate not having things in my palm. 3) If I can’t control it then screw it. Yeah… So I really hate it when things don’t end up the way I want to. HATE IT. God, what should I do with my life? I feel like I want to go to a Christian University but it’s kind of far away and I’ll have to live in dorms not mentioning the costs. And UBC just seems like a better choice because it’s the top 100 universities in the world. I’m just really bothered by all this. I mean like if I go to a good university, a good major, and a good job my parents will definately be pleased. But if I do what I think is serving God and although they are Christians I definately don’t think they’ll agree. It’s so stupid.
There’s a trip to Israel I want to go to next year. I’m thinking it’ll really help my faith and really tell me what I actually need to do to serve my God. This is all so queer. I haven’t felt like this since I was in grade 7 or so… I don’t know. I just hope things work out the way you want them to God.
I’m getting sicker. Coughing more and much more flem in my throat which is gross, I know. Hopefully, I’ll get better. And we got report cards today. No, I wasn’t frustrated or upset I guess I kind of want to focus more on my spiritual life…which is difficult.